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Glaziers from Moncton

I woke up in a puddle in Dieppe
And I staggered off west on Champlain
Crossed over the Chocolate River
And wandered on down the Rue Main
I saw two guys installing a window
Who I thought would be good for a fight
But before I could get my sleeves all the way rolled
A big hand grabbed my shoulder, and tight!

T’was an old man, white-bearded and smiling,
Like a mix of Old Ned and St. Nick
He spun me around and he sized me on up
And he said “Son, I see you’re no hick;
I can tell you come from Miramichi
For your obvious refinement and class,
But don’t mess with glaziers from Moncton,
For they surely will pummel your ass!”

“Don’t mess with glaziers from Moncton
‘Cause it’s riskier than you might think.
They hoist glass all day building windows
They hoist glass all night full o’ drink.
Each one’s labors will make him resemble
A sturdy petite Kodiak
So don’t mess with glaziers from Moncton,
For they won’t hesitate to mess back!”

“You can pester the plasterers in Pictou
And they never will set down their trowels
And the put-upon farmers of Fredericton
Will answer with nothing but scowls
You’ll survive acting antagonistic
To the anglers of Antigonish
But if you mess with glaziers from Moncton
You’ll sleep the next night with the fish!”

“Don’t mess with glaziers from Moncton
‘Cause it’s riskier than you might think
They hoist glass all day building windows
They hoist glass all night full o’ drink
Each one’s labors will make him resemble
A sturdy petite Kodiak
So don’t mess with glaziers from Moncton,
For they won’t hesitate to mess back!”

“Oh, St. Johns’ refinery workers
are reputed to ruffians be
and old Grand Sault’s unemployed loggers
will cut you down quick as a tree
There’s the roughnecks of Tracadie-Sheila
And the dockworkers up in Bathurst
But don’t mess with glaziers from Moncton,
Because everyone knows they’re the worst.”

“Don’t mess with glaziers from Moncton!
Let the voice of experience speak!
For I was a Moncton bricklayer
Who was flush at the end of the week
And I messed with a glazier from Moncton
And I died ere I landed a fist!”
He said “Don’t mess with glaziers from Moncton!”
As he faded off into the mist.