20 Amazing True Facts About Introverts and Extroverts

Extroverts must swim constantly: if they stop, they will suffocate.

Introverts never have to drink water. They can get all the water they need from reading books.

According to the principles of aerodynamics, extroverts should be incapable of flight. However, no one ever told  extroverts this. Well actually they tried, but the extroverts didn’t listen.

What is commonly referred to as the introvert’s “second brain” is actually a walnut-sized cluster of neurons at the base of the spine. It exchanges information with the introvert’s true brain, but the neural impulses travel slowly. If you step on an introvert’s tail, it can take as long as half an hour before the introvert complains on Tumblr.

A group of extroverts is called a “parliament.”

No two introverts have the same markings.

Despite their reputation, extroverts will generally only bite if provoked.

As their teeth never stop growing, introverts must gnaw constantly to wear their dentition down to a functional length.

There are about 25 million extroverts for each introvert. Or at least it seems like it.

Introverts don’t really change color in order to blend in with the background. Their color changes actually relate more to their moods and their activities, as when fighting, fleeing, or attempting to mate.  

Despite the urban legend, eating uncooked rice does not cause an extrovert’s stomach to explode. 

Slowly closing your eyes and then opening them again means “I love you” in Introvert.

An extrovert’s quack does not echo.

Introvert hair is made of keratin, the same proteinaceous material that makes up your horn if you’re a rhino.

Extroverts can keep talking for as long as two hours after their heads are chopped off.

The common introvert can see in near-complete darkness if he or she can find the light switch.

An extrovert placed into a pot of boiling water will jump out immediately. However, if you place an extrovert in a pot of lukewarm water and slowly turn up the temperature until the water reaches the boiling point, he or she will just keep texting.

Reclusicanthropus giganticus, the largest known fossil introvert, had a couch 22 feet long.

Extroverts are native to all continents except Antarctica, but they’re starting to show up there too.

Introverts can slam their heads into solid wood at rates up to 20 times per second, but are protected from impact trauma by a sponge-filled, shock-absorbing sinus cavity… no wait, that’s woodpeckers. 

31 thoughts on “20 Amazing True Facts About Introverts and Extroverts

  1. J.

    Beautiful. I’m almost sure it’s from some long-lost pages of the Celestial Emporium of Benevolent Knowledge.

  2. Hank Fox

    Extroverts mate with Introverts extremely seldom, due to the fact that exposure of a bright blue scrotum, which is an offer of copulation in the Extrovert is, to an Introvert, a threat display.

    Introverts are all, to some degree, telepathic. This is not generally known because Introverts don’t bring it up in conversation, and Extroverts are too busy talking to ask.

    All Introverts have “innie” belly buttons.

    Extroverts emit a constant, piercing, repellent whine which can only be heard by Introverts and mosquitoes.

    Introverts and Extroverts broke off from the original Vert stock some 200 million years ago, when Pangea, the ancestral landmass, split into Africa and South America.

    Introverts can be perfectly balanced on their heads at the Equator. No one knows why this is so, but magicians performing on cruise ships make hilarious use of the phenomenon in their acts. (David Copperfield holds the world’s record for simultaneously balancing 32 Introverts on their heads, on a Princess cruise in 2010.)

    Otherwise identical twins who are Introvert and Extrovert must be kept separate and never allowed to come into physical contact.

    Extroverts cannot crack eggs with both hands simultaneously.

    In 17 U.S. states, it is still illegal for Introverts and Extroverts to marry.

    The Introvert Museum has a statue of Voyager 1 out front. The Extrovert Museum has, in that same relative position, a statue of a wet Golden Retriever dog.

  3. lilyf

    In a famous experiment, it was found that rats in a stressful environment will choose introverts over food.

  4. Jym Dyer

    ≈ Every one of these facts is great party conversation! Or would be, if I talked to people at parties, or even went to parties.

  5. Leigh J Averett Owens

    Extroverts are members of the teleost order Lophiiformes.They are named for their characteristic mode of predation, wherein a fleshy growth from the extrovert’s head (the esca or illicium) acts as a lure. This is how extroverts attract prey to whom they will subject to hours of talking.

    (I hide mine under my hat.)

  6. Pete

    I have read that introverts used to roam the American West in herds containing millions of individuals, until they were slaughtered to provide meat for railway workers

  7. Eliza

    You would create delightful exhibits for a natural history museum, along the lines of the Museum of Jurassic Technology. I laughed loudly when I read about the extrovert’s head, then shrank back into my chair, realizing that I had just become an internet LOL cliché. I also worried at the schadenfreude in my delight at the chopped off head of the nattering extrovert. I am an introvert, or just neurotic.

  8. blondie

    Love the one about a group of extroverts being called a parliament. Know what they call a group of introverts? Trick question. There are no groups of introverts.

  9. Caine

    Extroverts can keep talking for as long as two hours after their heads are chopped off.

    :Snort: I might like to test that out, if I could cope with two hours of decapitated chatter.

  10. BtA

    Introverts can close their nostrils against wind and sand when necessary.

    In 1865, the U.S. Secret Service was first established for the specific purpose to combat extroverts.

    Introverts are more active during sleep than during the day.

    Extroverts, when traveling in groups, breathe in unison

  11. SeanL

    “Extroverts can keep talking for as long as two hours after their heads are chopped off.” That’s the absolute truth. This whole thing just rings true.