Scientists Worldwide Admit Global Warming is a Hoax

Ah well – the jig is up… but it was good while it lasted, right? Although I was (as usual – just like with the housing market) too late in jumping on the bandwagon to make any profit from all those research grants where I could have just made stuff up! But now you know, how the “science” of global warming really works, don’t you? So can I at least have that bail-out bonus now that the secret is out?

A press release from the committee (IPCC) quotes a chagrined Rajendra Pachauri, the UN climate panel’s chair, who claims that he was the victim of a “cunning deception spanning decades”:

“I am deeply ashamed for having unwittingly perpetuated such a massive fraud on the governments of the world,” said Mr. Pachauri.

“It turns out that all that data from satellites and radiosondes, surface temperature readings, borehole analysis, measurements of rising sea levels, melting glaciers and permafrost, phenological data, and proxy reconstructions of paleoclimatic conditions were all fabricated out of thin air by my former friend, Al Gore. Now that I think about it, I suppose that we should have instituting some sort of peer-review process before publishing such alarming conclusions. Once again, I’m very sorry.”

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